


Deipnon

by GodAndMonsters, Shadowdianne, ShadowSelene (Shadowdianne)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-23
Updated: 2019-01-03
Packaged: 2019-09-25 18:09:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17126231
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodAndMonsters/pseuds/GodAndMonsters, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/Shadowdianne, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/ShadowSelene
Summary: Regina is a goddess who fell in love with Emma. And for centuries Emma has been revived over and over again, until the other gods agreed to let Emma become one of them, only Emma got pregnant in the middle of the process. Realizing the danger her lover and her unborn son were in, Regina understood that in order to save them she must lose them. She decided to sent Emma back to earth, erasing her memory in the process.Ten years later after she served her punishment by the gods she decides to go back down and search for her lover and her son. Emma in the meantime is experiencing vivid dreams and flashbacks about a goddess and a life that seems impossible, and with every memory she is getting weaker and sicker. How can Regina help her remember without losing her again?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! Dianne and Eva here (well, Dianne at the helm right now) This is a collab born basically out of our love to create “aaaaaangst” and AUs. We hope you like this little idea, enjoy and feel free to tell us what you thought of it!

“Please just think about it,” Hades urged her again, his eyes showing the kind of emotion no god was allowed to possess and something deep inside Regina’s chest burned. She cared about him, he was her only ally among the gods, maybe among everyone. Hades was the only one who spoke on her behalf, it was thanks to him that she stood here at all after spending ten years locked here in the underworld. The others, they wanted her gone. They wanted to erase her from existence.

 

“Please,” He asked her again and she sighed, there was nothing to think about. Not only there’s nothing left for her here, but Emma was also out there on her own, remembering nothing. She needed to know, she needed to remember.

 

“I must go,” she looked down, avoiding the betrayal in his eyes, “I have to,” she whispered and he said nothing, his silence tearing through her skin like a thousand knives.

  


“You won't be able to come back here,” he finally spoke, his voice raspy and harsh.

 

“I know,” she reached for the golden bracelet on her wrist and let the cold metal relax her, to take her back to green orbs and sunny locks.

 

“Is she really worth it?” Her asked and Regina’s mind went far away to a voice and a face she dreaded to forget.

 

_“Am I really worth it?” the soft, insecure voice of the blonde made her skin run cold and she turned to face her lover, she closed the distance between them, their naked bodies pressed so close together that Regina could feel everything, Emma’s heartbeat, Emma’s hot, warm breath, Emma’s golden curls that tickled her shoulder._

 

_“Don’t you know?” she whispered, a single tear sliding down her cheek as she tucked a lock of hair behind the blonde’s ear. “Emma,” she breathed and closed her eyes, trying to get her emotions under control. “You are worth everything,”_

 

“Everything,” the brunette said out loud. “Emma worths everything,”

 

“Goodluck,” he said before she left, knowing she won’t ever come back.

 

———

 

Coming back for Emma was the easiest decision she ever had to make. A decision she would have made over and over again, but adjusting to life on earth was something she didn't take into account. Living among mortals was, at lack of any other word - challenging. Not to mention that those mortals didn’t believe in her anymore, instead, those mortals believed in a one god. Like it takes only one god to clean their mess.

 

She was having coffee at a small, nice place when she first saw him. He walked out of the school in front of the shop, his blue backpack on his shoulders and his school uniform was a little wrinkled, but his eyes, his eyes told her everything she needed to know. This was her son, her ten-year-old son.

 

The mug shook in her hand and the hot liquid spread over her arm, burning her skin, yet Regina felt nothing. Her eyes were glued to the small boy who kept walking down the street and she forced herself to stay still, not to follow the son who has no idea who she was. Not following him to the mother who didn’t remember anything from the centuries they spent learning and exploring each other.

 

She had to be smart about it. And that’s how Regina found her new job. A history teacher in her son school.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Chapter One

_“Emma.”_

_The name was whispered with urgency and fear, a note of worry dividing the syllable, the “m” dragging as strong hand grasped her midriff, pausing for a second above her stomach, bunching the light white fabric that fell from her shoulders, cascading down her back._

 

_She could feel her head shaking, a silent “no” that made brown eyes glint with something that could only be loss. The kind of one that made her lungs deplete as a sudden sob wracked her body, making her a second too slow as those hands left her, the light pooling around them turning grey for a second, the taste of magic and power that accompanied it seeming to grow darker, headier._

 

_“You need to go.” She heard and she could only gape at the prospect, rendered speechless. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, leave and she bit down her bottom lip, ready to fight. She had been close, so so very close. They both were, and she couldn’t quite imagine leaving. Not now, not ever._

 

_“I can’t.” She heard herself say and her voice felt strange, underwater, thick with an accent that made her tongue roll different, teeth clanking as if they were too large for her mouth. She caught a glimpse of regret on a shadowed face, a look that made her realize that the decision had been made. Without her._

_Feeling anger rising, anxiousness prickling her throat, she stood as tall as she was, legs slightly separated, muscles seizing; ready to fight. “You can’t make me leave you. I made you a promise.”_

 

_Regret turned wishful, even if for only a second, a tiny momentum she clung to as her gaze wandered; bright shadows and lumps that made everything hazy, difficult. Taking a step back she stared back at those brown eyes, magic swirling on them._

 

_“I can’t keep making you do this.” She heard, but the other hadn’t spoken, the voice softly echoing inside her brain, her muscles slacking as she tried to blink, thirst crawling up her throat. “I was selfish, Emma. I need… I need to protect you.”_

 

_“I can…”_

 

_It was too late; however, she knew that, knew it in the way she could see those eyes glaze with unshed tears as her own throat seized up, closing, making it impossible for her to truly speak._

 

_“You need to go.” She heard, stronger now and the ghost of a caress on her chest made her blink, stubbornness keeping her jaw clenched. “Please, I can’t lose you.”_

 

_A kiss on her forehead, a kiss on her nose, a kiss on her lips, a final caress on her stomach, a promise writing itself on her skin, strong and heavy with power and magic._

 

_She screamed a name, but her mind was already falling, as well as her body, away from those arms, away from those hands. Her voice scattering across time and space._

* * *

 

The unforgiving ring of the alarm clock woke Emma just as her chest began to spasm, a wave of nausea overthrowing her as she sat on the bed as quickly as possible, harsh coughs making her tremble as she blindly reached for the glass of water she had started to take with her every other night before crashing completely on the mattress below her. Grunting and taking a sip of water as the coughing subsided she still waited a few moments, waiting for a second fit of coughs that didn’t truly reached as her mind tried to scramble the dream she had just had.

 

It was difficult; too many details and just the vague sensation yet again that this wasn’t the first time she ever had had a dream like this. Sighing, she put the glass back on the nightstand, picking the phone at its side and stopping the alarm completely with an angry swipe of her thumb: she was getting restless. Again.

 

The thought made her wince as she put her feet on the floor beneath the bed, the slight chill that accompanied the motion grounding her as she felt a tickle on the back of her throat. Not strong enough for her to cough again but enough for her to clear her throat, feeling lightheaded for a second as she rose. The feeling, thankfully, stopped but she still narrowed her eyes at the light seeping between the gaps the not-entirely drawn curtains.

 

“I need a cup of coffee.”

 

Her voice sounded raspy and, for a second, she found herself thinking again on the quickly scattering remains of the dream; on the way her voice had sounded different as she had talked to that other presence her mind wasn’t able to truly conjure up. Rubbing the last bits of sleep from her eyes, she practically stumbled outside her room, phone still on her hand, as she blindly reached for the closes light-switch.

 

With a quick glance down the hall, she saw Henry’s door still closed, the sound of the music the tween had decided to use this morning to wake him already beginning to gently sound from within. Smiling slightly at that and both cough and brooding mood quickly forgotten, Emma reached the kitchen and began to prepare some coffee from her, the sound of the grains hitting the coffee maker blending with the audible groan from Henry’s room.

 

Chuckling at that, Emma waited until the first few drops of coffee began to fall, the smell delicious on her still sleep-addled mind and, just as quickly, she began to pour some orange juice on a glass, the touch of the cooling surface of it hitting her fingertips. She was just barely starting to prepare breakfast when Henry entered into the kitchen, sleep still clinging to his eyes as she yawned loudly, not really changed into his clothes. Which even if Emma noticed she didn’t say anything about it considering she herself was still on her pajamas.

 

Smiling at him and raising a brow at the grunt that greeted her as Henry took the glass of juice and downed it, she kissed the top of the kid’s head, briefly caressing the nape of neck and considering if it wasn’t time for a hair-cut.

 

“You were reading until late, weren’t you?” She asked instead, turning back to the stove as Henry muttered a barely audible thank you that made her hum. When she glanced at him, the pout she found there told her more than an actual answer. “Henry…”

 

“I wanted to prepare.” The boy shrugged and carried Emma’s coffee to the table, carefully but not enough for a few drops to fall.

 

“For school?” Emma turned and leant her body at the kitchen’s counter; she had already heard multiple times how excited Henry was for the upcoming school year and it she almost laughed at the way brown eyes eyed her as she feigned confusion. It didn’t last, however, as Henry stuck his tongue at her, slowly coming to his usual behavior, sleep forgotten.

 

“You told me you were going to bring me to the library today.”

 

Nodding at that, Emma returned to the stove, hands quick as she brought two omelets to the table, all the way glancing at Henry as she did so. It was true after all; she had promised him to go there for the day during her own shift. The boy had spoken excitedly about a few books he wanted to read the week before, titles escaping Emma’s memory at the moment just like a sudden flash run through her eyes as she lowered her gaze to the plate in front of her, something else seeming to rest there, something that wasn’t her omelet, before the image faded.

“Mom?” Worry etching on the edges of the word, Henry shook her hand gently as Emma blinked back to the present, yet another wave of nausea rising from the back of her head, growing inside the pit of her stomach. “You ok?”

 

“Blood-pressure.” She answered as quickly, a slow yet not exactly real smile lifting her lips. It was the explanation she had already been given a month ago and she wanted to stick with it. Even if a part of her felt dread quivering inside of her. “Nothing to worry kid, the coffee will do the rest.”

 

Eyes narrowed, Henry hummed but kept eating his own breakfast; the sullenness on his stance telling Emma the kid had probably picked on her doubts. Sighing momentarily, brooding returning, she took the cup of coffee and swallowed the first gulp of it, wincing at its temperature, heat running down her tongue and throat.

 

“Ouch.”

 

A slight smile fluttering on his lips, Henry chuckled. “You always end up burning yourself.”

 

And just like that his good-humor returned. Something Emma was entirely grateful for.

 

“Come on.” She said. “Let’s finish this up so I can leave you at the library.”

  



	3. Chapter Two

Henry was ready, he was ready to get answers, ready to help his mother find the answers she was too scared to search for. He was ready to be brave enough for both of them.

 

As he walked into the library, his hands shaking a little from the nerve and excitement of discovering everything he can about his mother’s dreams, his mind took him back to the first night he heard her. 

 

_ It was nearly two months ago, he stayed up late reading again, Harry Potter was about to catch the golden snitch when he heard his mother crying in her sleep. At first, Henry ignored it, knowing his mother would be terrified if she knew he heard her, his mother always had to be the strong one, even if it was clear she was breaking under the pressure of perfectionism and pretending. But when a loud, shattering yell came from her room Henry got up, forgetting all about not running in the house as he sprinted down the hall toward his mother’s room. _

 

_ ‘Hekate,’ the word left the blonde’s lips, ‘Don’t leave,’ the blonde begged, her forehead covered with cold sweat and her legs kicking the covers while her hands reaching, searching for something, someone. It looked like more than a nightmare, it looked like a memory. _

 

_ Henry stood frozen, aching to bring his mother back, to bring the confident woman who stood beside him as he fell and hurt his knee, the woman who thought him how to be brave enough to stand up for what he believed, no matter how irrational it sounded to others.  _

_ Instead, he just closed the door, letting the one word wash over him. ‘Hekate’. _

_. _

.

.

“You sure that is the book you want?” the young woman asked, her eyes scanning the name on the crumpled piece of paper the boy gave her.

 

“Yes,” answered the boy, “I’ve called here yesterday and Belle said she put aside for me,”

 

The young girl searched in her drawers before she finally found the book, it was an old one, one a few asked for these days. “Here you go,” she handed the book to the nervous boy, “You sure you don’t want Harry Potter or maybe Twilight?”

 

“I’m sure,” he smiled politely and study the book, the cover mostly black except the two white crescent moons, and above them, the name of the book was scripted in bloody red - _ ’The Underworld’. _

 

leafing through the pages Henry found a lot of information but no answers. He read about the Lethe river, Hades, he cringed at the description of Tartarus and by the time he reached the last pages all his hope was gone, his believer heart aching and his childish faith that everything will be ok was fading away.

 

But then he saw her, a painting of Hekate, one he never saw on his Google research, her brown orbs staring right at him as if they begged him to come closer, her silky locks resting on her shoulders, she looked so familiar, like he knew her. The page was torn and Henry couldn’t see the rest of her face but he saw enough to make his heart beat faster, to make his eyes go wide and his lips to whisper  _ ‘mom’. _

 

* * *

 

 

Emma couldn’t remember why she wanted to be a cop, she couldn’t remember why she found this job exciting. Most of the time she preferred to be on the other side, on the side that is running, the side that is always looking behind his back, she could almost feel it, the adrenaline rushing through her veins and she kept running and running through the streets, through the woods, her mind taking her to another place again and she sank into another fantasy she could not explain-

 

_ “Stealing again,” the brunette asked and Emma just smiled and threw the bag at the goddess who just rolled her eyes as she opened it and pulled three pieces of gold. “Seriously? that is what you are doing instead of-“ _

 

_ “Worshipping you?” the blonde smirked and Regina took a few steps closer to the human “If I remember correctly I was worshipping you last night,”  _

 

_ “If I remember correctly it was you who begged me-“ but she didn’t get to finish the sentence before Regina pulled her into her and silenced her with a deep kiss, her lips full and soft and Emma forced her shaking knees to stay still. “You were screaming my name, my true name” Regina mumbled against her lips, “You screamed Regina over and over and over again,” she said while brushing her lips against the blonde neck, causing the blonde she shivered in excitement and anticipation, her hand sliding beneath the blonde muddy shirt and clasping her- _

 

“Emma?” Neal’s voice brought her back to reality, her boring, tedious reality.

 

“Yes,” the word came out husky and dry and Emma cleared her throat, hoping Neal will just ignore her weird behaviour. She could feel the wetness between her legs, the cruel reminder of the life she foolishly wished for.

 

“Another sleepless night?” he asked and Emma just nodded, not trusting her voice right now, not when the phantom touch of soft fingers on her stomach still burned, not when her lips still tingled and her heart still beat faster than normal.

 

“Too bad,” he declared as he fetched his gun and tag, “We have an arrest to make,”

 

And the blonde just groaned and fetch her own things as she followed him to the car.

  
  


* * *

 

“Mom?” Henry asked her as they drove home in silence, the boy’s mind occupied with all the new information he found in his new book.

 

“Yes?” she looked at the rearview mirror, searching for his eyes and sending him a reassuring smile.

 

“Can you tell me about my dad again?” he knew she hated to talk about it but brown chocolate orbs and silky brown locks kept hunting him, ‘it can not be’ he kept telling himself, but deep inside, a small voice whispered it can, it is.

 

The blonde sighed heavily before she answered as calmly as she could, “Your father was a policeman, I met him on the work and we were in love, three months later he was shot during a pursuit-“ she took a deep breath, trying to force herself to remember, her mind was so hazy and foggy with all the dreams and it was hard to distinguish reality from fantasy. “I discovered I was pregnant and it was as if-“

 

“He left you a piece of him to love and watch over you,” Henry finish for her, and Emma smiled shyly at him through the mirror. “But mom, are you sure?” he asked

 

And it was such a weird question for him to ask, a question he never asked before and Emma knew something was going on in his head. Something she needs to pay attention to.

 

But was she sure? She wasn’t sure about anything anymore, the dreams kept hunting her, leaving her with nothing but doubt. But she was his mother, and her job was to make him feel secure and safe, she faked a warm smiled and said “Of course,” her voice soft and reassuring and not at all displaying her turmoil of emotions.


	4. Chapter Three

_ She could feel the power given by the moon and darkness surround her as she entered into the chamber, her somber look being quickly replaced by a soft smile that slowly curved her lips upwards at the sight of a softly breathing blonde. Scattered around the room laid the bits and pieces of armor that had become the usual for the blonde woman and Regina sighed but snapped her fingers at the reddish metal, carefully storing them away with the exception of the cloth that Emma liked to use as a cape, the well-worn material soft on her hands as she stepped closer to the bed. _

 

_ She couldn’t really fall asleep out of tiredness, but she felt her shoulders shag ever so slightly at the sight of Emma’s blonde locks, at the lines that were beginning to appear at both sides of her mouth. She would never become accustomed to the actual passing of time; how that actually affected the now asleep woman. In a different, slower way than regular humans did, true, and yet… _

 

_ She pressed the tip of her tongue against the roof of her mouth, thinking yet again on stony faces that eyed her warily, time and time again every time she pushed forward the idea of Emma… Growling softly, she sat at the edge of the mattress, letting the warmth that permeated the mattress seep through her own clothes, up her calves and waist. _

_ Placing the cloth on her lap and rising her free hand towards the blonde’s face Regina watched as her magic escaped the tips of her fingers, the magic drawing on her veins like running rivers for a few seconds as she played with a stray lock of hair. _

_ “I love you.” The words escaped her lips in a simple, soft whisper and Emma, still asleep, curled her body against Regina’s side, her eyes barely fluttering open for a moment before a soft snore filled the room. _

 

_ And Regina knew she would do anything, everything, to see Emma like this every morning. _

* * *

 

The clock ticked by every other second Regina felt she was fighting against the very moment she would get to know, to learn, more about one particular Henry Swan.  Seated already at the other side of the desk that would be hers during the duration of the course, the building was still relatively silent due to her hour being the first one of the day, her decision of being as detached from the other teachers as possible keeping her alone on a slightly chilly New York morning.

 

She was lucky, she half-way thought, looking at the neat yet quickly-made notes of what would be the class for today; that even if she didn’t truly have total access for her magic on this new form she could still use a natural mix of allure and power from her divine form to do her bidding. Otherwise, she reflected, taking a final sip of coffee from the thermos she had brought with her, being able to find more information on Henry, where he lived, where he studied, wouldn’t have been as easy, as quick.

 

At the beginning she had obviously been careful. Heartbroken. In the brink of an actual panic attack that had almost broken the wards she had risen around her and the apartment she owned now; the open-concept space not as imposing as what she owned back at Mount Olympus but easy enough for the trickling and feeble power she now was able to access to protect it. From them, from them all.

 

Pressing her lips, turning them into a fine line, she ironed invisible lines on the jacket of the power suit she had decided to down for the day. She was no fool; she wouldn’t, couldn’t, approach the boy she had briefly taken a glimpse from and simply present herself, but she still felt the need to try to see more of him, more of that brown hair she knew was hers, more of those eyes she hoped weren’t hers but…

 

The sound of the bell woke her up from her reverie, the noise within the building rising tenfold at that as children began to run through the halls, the occasional ruffle of papers and footsteps Regina had already been privy off ever since she herself had entered into the building completely erased by screams, laughter and conversations she was unable to understand. Putting the thermos away and intertwining her fingers together, she waited with a practiced still face for the children to arrive.

 

She didn’t know what had pushed her to seek a job on the high school the teen attended. She didn’t even know or understand if her finding Emma had been purely coincidental or the Fates had actually done something to the prewritten lines of destiny. Knowing them all, that was a possibility she didn’t exactly rule out. Yet, as she waited, the noise coming closer with every second, the brunette fell a sudden wave of vertigo rushing over her, muffling everything except her breathing; slower than the one of a human but still making her feel dizzy at the sudden realization she was about to meet someone who she had been forced to part a really long time ago.

 

And Emma.

 

She felt, had felt, the pain of the forced distance with the blonde deep inside of her from the very second, she had seen her go. And yet, now, so close to her, it wasn’t her what made her tremble but the reality of how she would be stared at like any other human if they ever met. The reality that, for the very first time in a really long time Emma wouldn’t recognize her, wouldn’t know who she was, no longer tied to her, to her magic.

Breathing hitched, she shook her head, clearing her brain as quickly as possible and fixing her gaze on the about to be open door, a wave of children blocking the entryway quite quickly the second the panel was pushed open.

 

Tall, short, brown-haired, red-haired, blonde… her group wasn’t particularly big and they all seemed momentarily taken aback by the absence of who Regina knew had been their old teacher. A man she had also allured quite quickly on quitting her job with purple-colored eyes and a dark, somber expression born out of the blind will and desire to be able to see more, be closer, from someone she hadn’t thought on seeing again. Not when, even if she had been able to recognize him, a hint of her own very same magic a whiff on his aura, she was mostly blind on her human form.

 

Still, no one truly complained or asked. Not directly at her at least, as they took their seats, gazes being shared as the class quickly filled up, a boy in the midst of the group with a bulging backpack and the same bits of sleep hanging on his eyes as others had. And yet, as he looked every bit human as his peers, Regina felt again the pang on her chest as she stared to the eyes that no, the boy hadn’t inherited from Emma but from her: brown pupils staring at her for a moment as he placed on top of the small desk his heavy backpack with an unceremonious thud. Something that made Regina briefly think on how Emma also had always had that same hang up, no matter how much it irritated her time and time again.

Clearing her throat, feeling her voice catching on the back of her mouth, she refrained her magic with one quick motion of her left fingers against her palm, her symbol glimmering quickly on her skin as a reminder to herself; tied as she was now to mortal laws now.

“Hello.” She began as the last kid had entered into the room, the typhoon that that had been the children entering into the building slowly settling down at the other side of the ajar door. One she approached and closed with a firm push of her left hand, heels clicking softly against the door as she turned and faced her classroom for the very first time, eyes settled on the boy, unable to look away from them. “My name is Regina Mills.” She smiled, a barely-there lift of lips, “Your new history teacher.”

* * *

 

The boy was incredibly bright and was obvious that he had read beforehand every other material he had been able to find. That much turned out to be obvious on the very first fifteen minutes of class, during the quick test Regina had prepared the night before, not entirely sure of what or why she was doing, feeling her magic sizzling just beneath her skin.

 

She had even needed to refrain herself when the boy had obviously demonstrated some interest on classical history: Rome and Greece two names she herself hadn’t uttered until both he and another girl called Ava had mentioned it at the same time, smiles on their momentarily shared interests.

 

Licking her lips, Regina had eyed him before refocusing her attention on Ava, nervousness swirling inside her chest.

“We will cover that very soon.” She heard herself answer and Henry, with the very same kind of wondrous look Emma also tended to get, had smiled and hummed to himself in a fashion that had made Regina tilt her head, curious.

 

It wasn’t until the class was almost over and Regina had left the group some free time to prepare a small paper she intended for them to submit in a few weeks’ time, when Henry approached her with a heavy book between his arms, the title hidden from Regina as she schooled her features, a tilt on her face.

 

“Yes?”

 

She couldn’t bring herself to mutter the surname. Nor the name, but Henry didn’t seem to mind that as, nibbling his bottom lip and scratching the back of her head in yet another move Regina recognized as Emma’s, put the book on the desk’s surface before quickly glancing at his back.

 

“I would ask you some things… for my paper.”

 

Regina’s breath hitched for a second time that morning when she glanced down, the title, the symbol written on it as familiar to her as looking at her own reflection.


End file.
